A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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The Holocaust

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To the person who wrote the dislike joke: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH GOOD FAIL!

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Chikin nuggets

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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