Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

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Why I am at the hospital now: True as it gets. I found on my working desk a small box of fluoride pills, I was like meh, but it said banana, strawberry, mint and pear, so I was like yeah! And grabbed a mouthful before going URGH! Then my friends entered laughing saying "I hope you do well on that test tomorrow!" So yeah, I passed out, and it turns out my "friends" (victims ill torture to they beg for death). 80 MG OF VALIUM!!! Yeah good trucking luck on my test eh? I nearly died twice, somehow, I think I should ask doc if my heart is okay or something, my head is fucked up the floor is all wavy and I cant differentiate numbers Seriously, one guy was gonna come visit say sorry, but he sent his girlfriend instead... My wife was so worried, that when I said: Mind if I have my vengeance by screwing his girlfriend? My wife said: I was so worried, you still okay? That actually sounds like a good scheme... So, yeah... I am typing this because, I am totally going to have a threesome... When and if my ever wakes up again... She agreed... She was always kinda into me but still! If you dont understand this, well... Next time, if you want to poison me, USE SOMETHING THAT KILLS ME! BECAUSE I WILL BE BACK!

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Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

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Nicole: Shove it where the sun don't shine! Katlyn: I'm richer than you! Nicole: Shut your frickin' mouth! Katlyn: You'll be bankrupt! (This conversation was recorded while Nicole and Katlyn were playing Monopoly. They both died in a car accident later that day...)

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Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

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Jesus, a frog, and Faith Hill walk into a bar. The frog says, "What is this, a joke?"

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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anti jokes are gay...your all gay

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What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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What's worse than a rainy day? Rape.

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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what do you call Mackenzie Phillips? five head

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

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Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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