There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Here's a joke The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops