If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Q. Knock Knock A. Whose there? Q. how am i supposed to know why don't you answer it and find out you dumb ass! gosh.... people and their common sense these days!!

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

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what did the cow say to the chicken Hey im ralston tyler

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knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

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Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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Weed.

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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feminists.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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speech and debate.

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Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

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Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

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You know what they say... Big feet Lawn-mower

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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