Did you hear the one about the man who fell asleep on the job? He woke up.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you do to a little boy who just called you fat? Throw a rhino at him!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

thumb_up thumb_down +1

One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

thumb_up thumb_down +1

have safe sex

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down +1

In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (who's there?) Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops