What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

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Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

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Knock knock Shut up

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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Gretta has five legs? -no

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

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what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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