A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Whats sad about 4 blacks riding of a cliff in a cadilac. It was a rental.

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Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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The Oakland Raiders

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how many neggers does it take to screw in a light bul.... Nvm, Neggers be too busy screwing ur wife, plus they're lazy.

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SUCK MY NUTS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

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Why did the Armadyl godsword penetrated full Bandos? Because the AGS went up its tassets

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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A Jew walks into a bar screaming cause he just broke his face

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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