What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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roses are black violets are grey... im color blind sorry

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Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

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Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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Jellybeans

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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