Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping two ice cream cones.

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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