what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

Knock knock Who's There? Me I kill you again HA HA HA

What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

A boy with one arm walks into a rock climbing facility and quickly realizes that his dream of being a rock climber is impossible because he is blind.

A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

Yo mama is so fat when she went to the fat contest they said SORRY no pros alowed

Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

why was the toddler sad? he was diagnosed with cancer after his dog was put down because it raped and murdered his parents

a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

Whats worse than suicide? death

An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

Keanu Reaves

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

I can count to potato.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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