You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

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Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A black man walks into a bar The bartender tells him they don't serves blacks The black mans calls the Police and the bartender is arrested for Discrimination

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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Roses are red, Bacon is brown, this poem makes no sence, BACON!!

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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