You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

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two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

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You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

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What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops