What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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What's the difference between a baby and an egg? One is fun to throw at houses and the other is an egg.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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How are you doing today? I'm fine...Except for the rape.

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Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

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Cool I just got a free Minecraft gift code at http://freeminecraftgiftcode.net

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Why did the road cross the chicken? REVENGE

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Jimmy clenches his fist, a crack his heard. Jimmy begins to cry knowing his arthritis has gotten worse.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

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Roses are red, violetes are red, I'm colorblind

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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why'd my house get destroyed I was afraid the tornado that hit mass was going to destroy it so I blew it up

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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Penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops