Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

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What's black, blue, and red all over? A baby after I kill it

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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Neil Lewis

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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Why did the man wipe his bum with a sweat-shirt? Because they were all out of toilet paper

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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What's worse than a kid with a big head? Nothing you just look weird like Austin

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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~Chinese Anti Joke~ What is the difference between American army and Chinese army? American army teach youngsters to use their tanks. Chinese army smash youngsters with their tanks.

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Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

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What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

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Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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