Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Dick Chaney

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

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Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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