how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

live or die you decide to late time to die

What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

There is a running race, both black and white people are running in this race! Half way through there is an avalanche and every black person running was killed! Who won the race??? Society... :D

The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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