Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

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One time i was sitting down

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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