What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

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why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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My name is me I like fired chicken!

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What do you get when you kill justin beiber? A medal..

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

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Why couldn't the Asian couple have a white baby? Because two Wongs were mixed up in the paperwork so as a result the other Wong family ended up getting the child.

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A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

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Guess what? You guessed it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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A jew, a homosexuel and a black guy are on a plane. It crashes and they all die in horrible circumstances.

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What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops