A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

Why didn't the woman go to the kitchen? She was kidnapped and forced into sex-slavery

What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

What's worse than being annal raped by a black man? Well lots of things are but being raped by a guy who has around a 7 inch penis may be hurtful I'm sure being cut open and eaten alive may be worse;)

What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

Why did the boy climb the tree? To get to the top. - Driiiftz

A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

what is the biggest lie in the whole world? -please drink responsibly

Worms don't like apples.

Q. What do you call a white guy with a black dick? A. Gay

Whats the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out!

how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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