Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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The game.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops