Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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what goes woof ? A dog.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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Q: whats worse than being in the car for 1hour A: being in the car for 2 hours Made by: grant chapman:)

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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So everything, the chat we had before was all you know, a game so I would call you? I am not sleepy but I can wait until you can confirm everything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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