What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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What happened when the blind man was running toward a cliff. He stopped before he fell.

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Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Whats funnier than 24? Adam Sandler.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

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What do you call a black man with a small penis? Aids free

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if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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What did the dwarf do after he sore a mole? Nothing. dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist.

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three wars.

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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What would you get if you crosses a potato and a frog? Nothing because potatoes cannot breed with animals

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

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Roes are red Violets are blue I have a potato Let's make pie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops