Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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