Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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Obama 2012

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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