Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Obama 2012

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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Runescape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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