why was the man sad? his wife died

what's a fish with no eyes and out of water? its just a fish

whats worse that being raped by a giant squirrel? being raped by two giant squirrels.

What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf.

What do you call a blue chair A black person

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What's purple and glows? An electric grape

womans rights...

roses are red violets are blue i have Downs Syndrome... and a ding-dong potato

Where there is a will, there is generally a grieving family... I miss you, dad.

What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Half a shit.

There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

Hey, Max!!

How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

What do you call a black man who has been killed? A dead person.

What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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