How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

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What's worse than 1 bee sting ? 2 bee stings What's worse than 2 bee stings ? the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust ? 3 bee stings

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A man walks into a bar. Then he buys a beer.

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hi charles lattuca III

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

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So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

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What happened to the guy who drank poison? he died.

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If life gives you AIDs, make lemonaids.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

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what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

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What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

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There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Sad reality is that, you have a tab open just for ponies don't you?

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Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Vagina Boob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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