What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

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what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

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If life gives you AIDs, make lemonaids.

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What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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hi charles lattuca III

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

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How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

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Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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Q. whats worse then eating a slice of cheese? A. Finding out your mom has a penis

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What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

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Stop Iran! We need the money.

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What do you call a white man who murdered his whole family? -a murder What do you call a black man who raped five women? -a rapest What do you call a Mexican with a leaf blower -a hardworking legal immigrant working twelve hours seven days a week to support his wife and three children.

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Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?????

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I really hate poultry related jokes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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