A fish walks into a bar. He proceeds to talk the bartender. "Blub blub blub" The fish sitting next to him whispers to the bartender. "What is he talking about." The bartender shrugs.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

your mom's stupid face is a dumb butthead. I hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's orange and not an orange? An orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Whats worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Can yas all stfu SBBBBBBBBBSBSBSBSBSSBBSBSSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBBBBBB

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Want to here a joke? Me to...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo Mama is so stupid, she believes in God. While her faith has absolutely nothing to do with her intelligence and in 2014 only the most bigoted and stupid people would demean people based on their religion,she does have an IQ of 65 and is therefore believed to be mentally inadequate. It's really quite sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops