Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Knock knock

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops