I went to the store and I fell

Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

What rymes with milk..... milf

What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

equality for women

Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

The NBA lockout

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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