How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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How many Haitians does it take to change a lightbulb? Typically one, unless the light bulb referenced is in an inconvenient location or is over-sized / industrial grade.

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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Why did I write this joke Because I'm board as hell

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Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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What did the man say ti the other man? Hi

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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The name "Hunter Barksdale".

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What do you call a Fat man? You call him by His name because that's the polite thing to do.

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought that the second one would have seen it.

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A black guy, a white guy, and an Asian guy walk into a library. They were getting help from the Asian guy on their math homework.

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

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did you stub your toe?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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