- Anti Joke

knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

bologna

Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

What's funnier than 24? 9/11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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