Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

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why does tyler not understand any jokes idk why don't you tell me HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

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Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

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Dyslexia ruels!

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

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What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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An African american man fell out of a boat at sea. He swam back to the boat.

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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A black guy and a white guy are walking down the sidewalk. As it suddenly begins to rain, what does the white guy say to the black guy? Nothing. They did not know each other.

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Sammi suck kyles chode

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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