How do u keep annoying children off your front lawn? Molest Them.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

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Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. What do flowers have to do with this joke I want to tell you?

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One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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I wonder if God looks at the Earth all these years later and thinks, Man, I really went overboard with the water, didn't I?

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Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

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knock knock. who's there? me. me who? shut up im robbing you.

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Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What Mistake Do Ghosts make? None ghosts dont exist..

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Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? Being eaten by a giant octopus. What's worse than being eaten by a giant octopus? 3 Bee Stings!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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