What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

What's big and juicy and liked to be sucked by women? A penis.

What is big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

i hate black people

Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

Why did the Flyers lose to the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup? Because they aren't as good as the Blackhawks.

A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

So a jew walks into a bar!

Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

What does water taste like? Water

i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

What happens when Terran Hansen has sex with a cow? Jesse Z.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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