Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY! But my boyfriend is. Love you, Jeff.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 3, according to Mr. Owl

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

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If life hands you lemons, take them they taste good

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Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

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Q: Whats worst then losing your wallet? A: Giving birth to a dead baby.

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Knock, Knock Who's There

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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Matt is a Duster!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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What did the man say when he put his genitals in a blender? Argggghhh!

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whats worse that being raped by a giant squirrel? being raped by two giant squirrels.

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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96

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

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What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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Farlingaye high school :L what a crap place!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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