Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

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Your Black, Im Black, We're all Black

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops