why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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PIED NINNY!

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Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

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Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left?" cause women have no rights

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Q. Whats worse than 9 babies in 1 suitcase? A. 1 baby in 9 suitcases.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

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Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

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I'm not gay (phrase) - A phrase commonly used by straight men.

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What did batman say to robin when they got to their car? Get in the car

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Why do black men like bit butts? Because they can not lie.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

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How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

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What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

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How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

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What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

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how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

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What do you call a really bad band? Nickelback.

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops