America Votes

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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A man walks around a bar.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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