What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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