A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Alex Gedrose.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I am blind

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Can midgets still have big dreams?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops