What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch... The bartender calls the police as the man is arrested as piracy an act of robbery or criminal violence.

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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Knock Knock Come in! :)

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yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

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What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To get to the other Saiid.

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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