If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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I like touching my boobs

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What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

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what goes woof ? A dog.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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