One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

thumb_up thumb_down +26

One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What word rhymes with orange? -Adult onset diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If you posten bout Kony I feel bad for you son. Cause ive snached 99 children and you pst saved none jesse

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops