What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms! Knock knock! Who'z there? Not Suzy.

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How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He was happy to do it.

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I can't see ~ Ray Charles

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing. Stubbing your toe hurts like hell.

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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How do you get a girl to pay for food? You Rape Her

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Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

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What do you call a black man that likes potatoes? Whatever his name is.

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Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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Whats funnier than 24? Adam Sandler.

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You know what's natural? Bears.

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Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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Why do black people drink cool-aid? Because it tastes good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops