- Anti Joke

Why'd the man walk his dog His pen ran out of ink

Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

Four brothers joined the army and were deployed to Iraq. Two of them committed suicide.

seek beauty

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What do you call a purple chicken eating a bicycle? A purple chicken eating a bicycle

Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Billy: Hey hey hey!!!!! wanna hear a dirty joke? Joe: Sure Billy: A pig fell in the mud

What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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