What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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what is not funny? This joke.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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Want to hear a joke? Me to...

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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