What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

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A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

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A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a lady....

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Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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vn[oiaehsobv[khpogjglprljffknfsiphgeknkldfekageriyreojgyperogerpojregkeporg? cuase u stupid and this stupid joke is to

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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