Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call 4 black men in a BMW? Successful Businessmen.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

thumb_up thumb_down +6

kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you prank a blind man? Uou leave the plunger in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A woman wears a dress.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross a lamb and a pigeon? You get your house taken away.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops