A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

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What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

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Why did the black man get arrested? Because he was in possession of powder cocaine, which is a schedule I narcotic in the United States. This incident probably would not have happened if an end was put to the war on drugs, which is notorious for disproportionately targeting blacks and other minority groups, even though whites are statistically more likely to use such substances.

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I was bitter, nonetheleast because you and I became friends, while someone working for you (at that time it might just as well had been you) was conducting a lot of illegal activities. I kept thinking, why does the guy call himself "the wizard", its the most used name... Why? Because it is the most used name, good luck finding "THE WIZARD" among internet nerds, but then again, if you search for the most famous one, you find "THE MAN", Not only did you tell me at first that you where Nero. Which I can prove you are not, but you know, one side of me was your friend, the other knew I would have to get rid of you no matter the cost, if you kept your activities. SImply put: When I enjoyed our time together, I pushed you away with stupid humor, small insults and etc, mostly in order to protect myself from getting to close with a potential threat for well, security, lets keep it at that.

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man. The mexican got his arms shot off in the war and is severely paralyzed. God Bless our troops. Thank you for serving us.

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A man stand's on a chair Then he fall's off

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Ask your friend: Will you remember me in a week? Will you remember me in a month? Will you remember me in a year? Knock Knock. Who's there? How did you forget me already?!?

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Laugh.

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If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

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What is a gremlin? A gremlin.

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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a man walks into a bar and has a drink james

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Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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Your mom.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

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do you wanna hear a joke school

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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