What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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